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Oral sex upon a penis (fellatio)

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If the moment of a penis entering a vagina is the sweetest sexual experience for a man, the moment when a woman goes down on him cannot be much less pleasurable.

There seem to be some things that a penis likes more than just about anything else - and they involve warmth, softness, wetness, and manipulation. A mouth, complete with tongue, saliva and a partner willing, and maybe even eager, to please her man, is therefore a bit like heaven on earth for a penis.

So how many couples do oral sex? One survey done by a condom company suggests that three quarters of all couples have tried oral sex. There's a big move in the US to oral sex among teenagers who apparently regard it as equivalent to not having sex.

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I wonder how they got that idea? Whether you see oral sex as abstinence or not, it is certainly enjoyable, and the orgasms that come from it are just as pleasurable as those from sexual intercourse. The sight of my partner taking my penis in her mouth is an amazing one, which somehow always seems a bigger deal than me kissing her vulva, clitoris or the areas nearby.woman pleasuring a man sexually with fellatio

Of course, for many men, the most important question is: "Will she keep my penis in her mouth while I come?"

Men like to ejaculate inside women (it's something in the male genes), but I guess that even if a man's partner won't take his ejaculation into her mouth, he'll still appreciate it if she sucks his penis. Here are some reasons why.

Why Men Like Oral Pleasure

First, it feels absolutely wonderful - mostly because the tongue can tickle the sensitive spots on the penis head in a way a vagina can't.

One great thing about oral sex is that when a woman takes her man's penis in her mouth, or just licks it with her tongue, she can move her tongue to the point where it feels most sensitive.

For some men this is the very tip of the penis, where the urethra emerges. A woman's tongue, manipulating the opening, and licking the little ridge around the urethral meatus, is a direct route to total ecstasy.

I think some men have a more sensitive spot on the middle of the underside of the head of their penis, where the frenulum joins their glans.

The gentle movement of a tongue over this area can produce sensations as exquisite as the movement of a tongue over a woman's clitoris.

And for uncircumcised men, a tongue running around inside the foreskin while it still covers the glans, poking and prying into this private area, can be very exciting.

Second, while oral sex is an intensely pleasurable experience, it's also a relaxing one. A man doesn't have to worry about thrusting, getting into one or more enjoyable sexual positions, finding new ways to make love, giving more than he gets, or anything else: he can literally lie back and enjoy the attention being paid to his penis.

Most men prefer lying back to sitting up or even standing, though many men say they find it very sexy to have a woman kneeling over them while she uses her mouth and tongue on his penis and balls - particularly if she's facing away from his head, towards his feet.

Most men's least preferred choice of position for oral sex seems to be soixante-neuf or "69": men find it better, it seems, to take and receive pleasure one at a time.

Third, there's more to it than the physical pleasure. For a man, there is the psychological impact of seeing a woman in such a compliant position - perhaps kneeling before him, looking up at him, and taking part in an act devoted much more to his pleasure than hers.

Is fellatio as pleasurable for the woman? I suggested some time ago that men like to receive fellatio but are equally keen to give cunnilingus, whereas maybe women give fellatio so they can get the wet, delicious pleasure of cunnilingus in return. But in response, a female reader wrote: 

"Actually, many women, like myself, know how to please a man and also get the most intense pleasure from performing oral sex on a man. I think it would be safe to say, at least in my case, that the stronger the emotional bond between the man and woman, the more pleasurable it is to give.

"Sometimes it feels so good to give that I might as well be giving myself head - I can feel everything I do to my partner. On the other hand, some women only give oral sex for the reason you described on your site, and some women go down on men because they know that men like it, but they do not enjoy the experience of giving. Thought I'd share."

Another reader observed:

"I would like to react to two things, especially the part about giving and receiving oral sex. Personally at first I was shy about this too (that's my nature) but I have found that once I feel comfortable with a partner I enjoy very much both giving and receiving in this respect.

"In my modest sexual experience I have found that some men absolutely love satisfying women orally and some really don't (unfortunately). Knowing that I love it they attempted to try it, but knowing that they really didn't like it was a big turn off to me as I believe pleasure should be mutual. 

"With no exceptions I have found that men love being given oral sex. I was hesitant at first as I felt it was a bit much to put a penis in a small area like my mouth.

"However, once I started to try I found myself loving it, not so much because of the taste of the man but because of the pleasure it gives to my partner, the spoiling and pleasuring of my beloved, the intimacy and also the shape of his penis.

By the way, as far as semen goes, this can be a burning and not always pleasurable sensation to the throat in my opinion. The only time I don't like it is in fact if a man has a big penis and tries to make me take it in deeper than I feel comfortable with."

There's no question that pleasing a man is an art - and you can find out exactly how to do it here. There's an interesting piece on blow jobs v hand jobs here, too.

She goes on: "I'm fascinated with the shape of the penis - small, big, straight, bent, whatever: I find them beautiful. In fact I find the whole male body beautiful, and making love in a way is a sense of honoring that beauty.

"Especially the beauty of the penis. Apart from the miracle of the shape and size changes involved in erection, it's a very beautiful and fascinating part of the male anatomy.

"For me it produces a strong urge to caress and stroke, especially the smoothness and sensitivity of the glans and corona, although all of the penis is beautiful.

"Personally I have been with many men who appreciated it but were also a bit ambivalent towards it, sometimes treating it unkindly if they felt they were betrayed by, for example, a falling erection, or the opposite, or in many other ways.

"I felt that my own admiration of the beauty of their penis made them more aware and certainly very loving and more cuddly towards me than maybe they felt before - and some men have said this to me. Therefore I think it's a natural cycle of loving energy exchanged.

!I don't think I am the only woman feeling this way about the male anatomy. I do think women are aroused by this in a different way to men.

At least for me knowing that I am giving a lot of pleasure to my beloved is a huge turn-on - maybe more so than the physical aspects, though I feel they are very important too.

I have had a few discussions about this with some of my closest female friends, and there were some differences of opinion there: but I wanted to react to your question in this section, letting you know that there are indeed women that love touching, caressing and tasting a man's penis, giving him oral pleasure, just as there are women who love being licked and caressed by a man's tongue - just like me. 

"Thanks for your candidness, it's a real eye-opener and a refreshing change, as well as insightful. I think men and women do their best to communicate what they feel and desire, in small and big ways, but things like this help us understand, enjoy and give pleasure to each other in the best - and as many - ways as possible."

Video - why men like oral pleasuring

Carol, another reader, observes:   

"I'm thoroughly amused. I did a search looking for information on 'oral sex' and found your website. I have recently found a man who loves oral sex. Before he met me it was 5 years since he had someone go down on him. 

"He was involved in an on-off relationship with some chick that didn't like to give head.  Funny part is...I didn't enjoy giving it either until I did it on him (I'm in my mid-30's and have sucked several penises over the years). I've known him for a number of years and we were kind of friends, but until recently we were both involved with other people. It's been wonderful.  

"I find it very erotic going down on his penis whether it be in the car, in my apartment, him standing or sitting...haven't quite made it to the laying part yet, but I'm sure that's coming (no pun intended). It's wonderful foreplay... it really makes me wet with anticipation of what sex will be like.

"I was with someone for three years with a large penis. I would say it was erect, maybe 6 inches tall and at least 2 inches wide. It was ok. But, you know, it didn't fit in my mouth. It was too big and awkward and I felt like gagging when I went down on the head of it. 

"My new man is maybe erect four and a half inches long and one and a half inches wide. I love going down on him. The last time we spent some time together I told him that I enjoy blowing him because he fits in my mouth. 

"He laughed and told me that I was the only woman he's been with that doesn't want a larger penis. It was amazing because at that moment he knew I thought he was truly just fine the way he is. That I accept him.

"And, I could tell he was more relaxed with me and how we're playing. He felt comfortable to put his hand on my head, while he was standing (with me on my knees, because he asked nicely) and guided me to longer strokes and deeper strides.

"I felt safe and was more turned on by him telling me what he likes and would like me to do with him. I can do the same when he gives head to me. Can't say I've ever before communicated so much during making out with a guy!"

Good luck - and all you guys with a small penis, just remember, most women prefer giving oral to a smaller penis!

And lastly, I have a small suggestion if the taste of your semen is causing a few difficulties during fellatio. Eat pineapples! I think pineapples change the taste of spunk to something quite pleasant. In fact semen takes on the flavor of curry, and I know asparagus can make it taste disgusting - though, oddly enough, only people with the right taste buds can detect this! So, who knows - pineapples might work.


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Other pages on the penis and sex

Best sex positions
Fellatio - what women think
Better sex and masturbation
Pleasing a woman in bed
How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed
The penis & male pleasure
Premature ejaculation
Extended orgasm for men (1)
The senses in lovemaking
Arousal and desire
Fetish and fantasy
Sexual behavior
Intercourse with a soft penis
Men's sexual needs
The power of the penis
The nature of masculinity
Male sexual massage
Manifesting Your Reality

Other sections on the site

The penis, masculinity and sex
A Cultural History Of The Penis
Penile & Other Problems

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