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Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex

Things to avoid during sex if you're a man making love to a woman.

1 Avoiding foreplay and making straight for her erogenous zones

A woman often needs a period of foreplay to become aroused before she will enjoy you touching her breasts or vulva. In addition, once she is enjoying your touch, you need to judge how much pressure or firmness to apply. In the early stages of her arousal, she'll find a firm touch to be irritating or annoying, if not painful, especially on her clitoris. Don't assume she needs the same stimulation as you do on your penis.

2 Being a bad kisser

Being able to kiss well - passionately, firmly and tenderly, as appropriate - is the mark of a skilful lover.

3 Forgetting to stroke her and hold her

Much of the enjoyment of sex for a woman is the closeness and sense of intimacy with her partner. Of course, the sexual desire and the orgasm are important as well, but women are certainly not as genital and orgasm centered as men, and the softer side of sex is very important to them.

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4 Not treating her nipples or clitoris with respect

While men enjoy sucking and kissing a woman's breasts, too much play with your lips or tongue can be uncomfortable. You'll be able to judge if what you're doing is pleasing her by her reaction. As for her clitoris, just remember it has twice as many nerve endings as your penis. And it's much smaller!

5 Not washing or shaving before sex

Sure, the smell of your penis and her vagina can be sexy and arousing - but when they are a little overripe, shall we say, they become attractive only to those who relish such aromas. And whether or not you shave before sex may depend on how much she likes a red rash across her chin as you thrash back and forth in sexual ecstasy! At the very least, wash under your foreskin and around your anus. The same applies to her of course.

6 Not taking sex slowly and gradually

Don't be in too much of a hurry to penetrate her, either with your with fingers or your penis. Sex will ultimately be better for both of you if it involves some tantalizing, teasing play. The best way to please a woman sexually is to take it slowly and romantically.

7 Ensure you give her pleasure during sex - perhaps with a pussy massage

Sure, not all sex is romantic and lovey-dovey: sometimes it's good just to go at it hard and fast. But even then there's more to sex than just sticking your penis into her and thrusting till you ejaculate. A sensitive and elegant approach to sex is the mark of a real man as well as a sensitive lover. So undress her with finesse, and do the same for yourself. Then take the time to massage her yoni or pussy.

8 Expecting her to conform to your demands

If you want her to shave her vulva, ask her nicely. The same goes for any sex play you might want to try. If she says no, accept that, and don't wheedle and whine until she gives in.

9 Not taking the trouble to find out about her G spot and sexual anatomy

You learnt about your penis from the day you first discovered it. But you might not know as much about her clitoris. So take the the time to do some research - on her, if possible - to find out what turns her on, and where you need to stick that finger to get the best response.

10 Being selfish about penetration

Of course your want to stick your fingers and penis up her pussy - it's natural. But no matter how exciting it is for you, be gracious about it and do it with elegance and grace.

A combination of masculine confidence and the right degree of firmness (depending on what she wants) is a sure way to impress a woman. And if you just can't maneuver your penis into the right place, ask her to help you with her hand! Women hate a man ineffectually pecking away at the entrance to their vagina without going in smoothly and cleanly.

Once you're in there, thrust cleanly and firmly, or gently if that's what she prefers. You can speed up and go deeper as you both get more aroused. Just don't be selfish and thrust hard and fast with no thought but to reach your own orgasm as quickly as possible!

11 Sticking to the same sexual positions all the time

We all like making love in new positions from time to time. Even if she's a bit self-conscious about the size of her butt, she'll probably enjoy a good hard fuck in the woman on top position from time to time. So ring the changes, and don't let sex get boring. You don't need much variation to keep it fresh. Try out some new sex positions from time to time.

12 If you have a big penis, thrusting too hard

Watch out for painful contact with her cervix or G spot if you are well-endowed - not all women can take a big penis easily. If your penis is bigger than average, the best way to get deep into her is to use rear entry or woman on top positions and to get her very aroused before you enter her - or use lots of lube.

G spot - Finding It and Enjoying It

13 Don't come too quickly

Not having control - at least some degree of control - over your ejaculation is not the mark of a mature lover, especially since you can easily learn this skill. Many more women could reach orgasm during intercourse than actually do so if only their men could keep going longer.

14 Losing your erection when you put the condom on

This is common but unnerving. If it happens to you, get her to put it on you as part of your sex play - perhaps with her mouth. You can see how to do this on

15  Not making sure sex was good for her

You don't have to ask her if she reached orgasm, but you can encourage her to give you feedback on what she's experiencing, receive it graciously, and adapt your technique to suit her. This may make the difference between her coming and not coming.

16 Thrusting into her mouth with your penis when she gives you head

When she's giving you oral sex, you may experience an overwhelming urge to thrust into her mouth. If you do, make sure she's not going to gag or choke, and thrust your penis gently.

17 Forcing her head towards your penis when you want oral sex

No woman wants to feel like a cheap sex slave, and forcing her head towards your penis to get oral sex is about as cheap as it comes. Just ask her. If she says no, or is reluctant, then you can explain to her how important oral sex is to you. (See "100 sex tips for women" on this website.)

18 Not making sure she's come before you finish sex

Whether you come quickly or not, she wants an orgasm - at least some of the time. If you can't get her there with vaginal thrusting, then make sure you give her head or you masturbate her until she's satisfied. It's better to do this before you penetrate her and  ejaculate, as you're likely to lose interest in sex afterwards.

19 Coming in her mouth without asking

Just don't. This is the cheapest trick of all.

20 Worrying about the size of your penis

A woman likes a confident man. Worrying about your penis size is about as unconfident as it gets. And it really doesn't matter to her about the size of your penis if you're a good lover. So show some steel, and give her a good time, and you'll do OK, even if you do indeed have a small member.

21 Moaning at her if you don't get anal sex

No matter how attractive the idea is to you, some women just don't like it. If she doesn't want you to stick your penis up her butt, focus on making other kinds of sex better.

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Other pages of sex tips

Advanced sexual techniques
Advanced techniques for women
Men: Sex mistakes to avoid
Men: Mistakes to avoid during sex
The Power Of Ejaculation

Best sex positions
Fellatio - what women think
Better sex and masturbation
Pleasing a woman in bed
How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed
The penis & male pleasure
Premature ejaculation
Extended orgasm for men (1)
The senses in lovemaking
Arousal and desire
Fetish and fantasy
Sexual behavior
Intercourse with a soft penis
Men's sexual needs
The power of the penis
The nature of masculinity
Male sexual massage
Manifesting Your Reality