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These are some simple techniques which you can use to increase your pleasure during sex or masturbation.

Erection exercises

When your penis is erect, identify the muscles which make your erection swell as you force more blood into it, and the muscles which allow you to twitch your penis from side to side or up and down when it is hard and erect.

Strengthening these muscles, which run around the base of your penis and along your perineum, will greatly improve the hardness and duration of your penile erections and the amount of pleasure you feel when you ejaculate. 

As with any muscles, repetition of the contractions is necessary to develop their strength.

Although it is easiest to do this when your penis is erect, you can practice contracting and releasing them at any time of day, not just when your penis is erect, as long as you have identified all the relevant muscles beforehand.

You can develop great strength by hanging a small towel on your erect penis and lifting it. As your penile musculature grows in strength, you can use progressively bigger towels.

The muscles strengthened by this regime are the pubococcygeus muscle, the thigh muscles, the buttocks, and the abdominal muscles. This is not only good for your fitness but also for improving the quality of sex and ensuring you can overcome any problems reaching orgasm. Find out how it all works on this encyclopedia of sexual information.

Try sex toys

Sex toys increase enjoyment of sex. Their main value is to help by widening the sexual repertoire.
Now, whatever the relationship between a man and a woman, it has its foundation in sex.

It may well be argued that a relationship or a marriage is made in Heaven. But it is certain that it will be preserved or otherwise in bed. And bed is by no means always Heaven.

Some naturally polygamous animals, and like it or not man is one of these, are able to form single lasting monogamous relationships. But these are very vulnerable and nowhere more so than in bed.

Overcoming Boredom in Your Sex Life

It makes very little difference what is your favorite kind of food; you are liable to get bored with it after a while. This is especially so if you always eat it from the same plate, at the same time, at the same table. Very many people are inhibited in their sex lives.

They perhaps never met anyone who gave them any enlightened experience. For them sex is a dull unimaginative routine.

Small wonder that they become bored and tired of sex in general and of their partners in particular. They should try new sexual positions on a regular basis to keep the excitement alive!

Ancient Sexual Devices

Even prehistoric man may have had his problems. Certainly we know that stones smoothed to resemble a penis were worn around the neck as ornaments. So were other stones with a smooth hole through them representing a vagina.

It has been suggested that the stones may have been used in ritual religious coupling rites. But if some early rock paintings are correctly interpreted, the phallic stones were also used for insertion into the female.

The holed stones were for masturbation by the men and were even sometimes worn around the penis during intercourse. As we shall see, many of today's sexual aids are similarly used.

In ancient Japan articles of clothing worn by the men were such that they had elaborately filled and projecting seams. These were grouped around the front of the thighs and around the root of the penis.

During intercourse they would produce a great deal of friction over the female abdomen, thighs and buttocks. The Japanese are credited too with an invention for use by their womenfolk which is like today's vaginal strengthener (see later).

The women got pleasure from wearing them and also developed the ability of their sexual muscles as a result.

The beautiful paintings of the Chinese book The Golden Lotus depicts such elaborate sexual aids as suspending the woman from a branch of a tree in a swing. The male lay precisely positioned beneath her while a servant gently swung the branch up and down.

From Arabic history also comes examples of the ingenious use of articles as sexual aids. The techniques of producing sexual delight by softly rubbing both male and female organs with ripe peaches are well known.

So is the idea of having intercourse actually through a very large soft fruit. The travels of the explorer Burton and his elaborate writings on sexual subjects are another source of information about the use of sex aids in history.

He tells, for example, of the habit of winding a stout cord around the root of the penis to enable a man not only to attain a bigger erection, but to maintain it for a longer time.

Coming closer to our own day, during the 20's and 30's, a well-known firm of surgical instruments manufacturers in Great Britain a series of artificial penises for issue mainly to men who had literally been "dismembered" during the First World War.

It was around this time too that there appeared the spreading knowledge of a thing known since as the "French tickler." This was a form of condom or sheath for the penis, from which small projections stood out and were designed to stimulate the vagina to greater pleasures during intercourse.

At about this same time too D. Blakoe, also working England, invented his famous Energizing Ring - of which more later.

Throughout history, then, sexual aids have been devised. Great ingenuity has been displayed. The number of objects used as sexual aids by women has been incredible.

Perhaps the best known example of all, though, is to be found in the Bible. There is Ezekiel, Chapter 16, verse 17, the prophet likens Jerusalem to an evil woman and admonishes her for the use of what is clearly a very expensive artificial penis.

The Battle of the Sexes

One of the principle stumbling blocks to a successful sexual relationship is the basic differing sexual make-up of the male and female human being. Most men are sexually very easily aroused.

They can achieve sexual readiness in the form of an erection sometimes in mere seconds and as a result of the slightest of excitements, perhaps only visual. They are physically able to have sex with almost any attractive female without hesitation and can proceed to orgasm and ejaculation within a minute or two.

They may, of course, prefer to be more selective and to take their time. But they are equipped by nature to respond and perform quickly.

To an extent, women differ. They are much more selective in their choice of males. They are less easily aroused except in the actual presence of their man.

Their arousal too is less easy to initiate, and they usually need a lot more time and attention to bring them to readiness for penetration. Prolonged periods of intercourse may be needed for them to orgasm during intercourse.

This is the difference that causes the trouble. All too commonly the male is over insistent, over-frequent, over-clumsy and over too soon. The woman is unsatisfied, even annoyed. But women have come to expect more from men. And the men have not always been up to it.

Oddly enough this has caused an increase in male problems. Some males have become anxious about their ability to satisfy. Yet sex, as was pointed out earlier, is the foundation of the relationship. If the foundation is not right, then nothing built upon that foundation can ever be right.

The problem then is two-fold. There is the search for variety that is in the very nature of mankind. There is the need to overcome sexual problems like frigidity and failure to orgasm in the woman and impotence or premature ejaculation in the male.

It's all too easy to satisfy the need for change by promiscuous behavior. But that still has many disadvantages: cost, organization, fatigue, anxiety, sexual disease and the threat to a stable relationship, for example.

Many, however, will prefer to find their variety with their partner......and that is where sex toys are useful....

Sexual Toys and You

Sexual toys do not cure all problems. Chronic sexual maladjustments needs more radical treatment. But, just as more headaches are treated by aspirins then by brain surgery, so many sexual disorders will respond to the correct choice and swift employment of  toys.

Some vibrators, while having all these usual basic aspects of construction, are very much more elaborate. For example, some have a variety of interchangeable ends of different shapes and sizes. Some have a little illuminated tip. Some have a wire running to a small control box.

By turning the control knob the vibrations can be made more or less intense at will. The most popular of all today is one which not only vibrates in the ordinary way but also goes up and down too!

The vibrator then is a prime example of a sex toy that is a lot of fun to use. By rubbing the fingers and the smooth tip of the vibrator gently over the clitoris and between the lips, there should be a gradual arousal of sexual feeling.

This means that extra blood will flow into the tissues in the center of the clitoris and even more so into the lips.

Now, very slowly and gently indeed the tip of the vibrator is pushed into the orifice of the vagina. Holding the vibrator at the correct angle, well lubricated and when a bit excited sexually, try sliding it into the vagina. It should only be pushed as far as is comfortable.

Not every woman, all the time, has a man available. She may not wish to have one, even. But with a vibrator she can masturbate as and when she chooses.

For many women the use of the fingers to masturbate is sufficient for them. For many a vibrator is superior. If for no other reason this may be because, being larger and longer than any finger, it produces a deeper and more enjoyable degree of penetration. There are no hard and fast rules.

One of the most important guide lines in all sexual behavior particularly when only you are involved, is to do what you like and don't do what you don't like. But whether it is for pleasure or for the strictest of medical needs, a vibrator may be just the answer. An alternative is the use of a dildo or artificial penis.

The Clitoral Aid

A substantial group of women suffer from a low threshold of sensation in the clitoris. And anyway, during intercourse in most of the common sex positions the penis does not stimulate the clitoris.

In spite of popular opinion to the contrary, when the penis is in the vagina it cannot touch the clitoris at all. Movements of the clitoral prepuce, caused by changes in the relative positions of the male and female organs, produces the pleasurable friction.

To increase this friction, the clitoral aid can be used. A clitoral aid is a soft rubber ring which fits around the shaft of the erect penis. Lightly lubricated, it is slipped around the shaft of the erect penis and about halfway down the organ.

Molded to the ring is a protruding area, positioned to touch the clitoris on penetration. Partial entry into the vagina brings this area into contact; then as penetration increases the ring slides gradually back along the organ.

When fully inserted the penis has the ring around its base and the active area of the ring is being rhythmically squeezed against the clitoris.

Several adaptations are available: in one instance there's an inflatable or padded cushion, shaped to compress the clitoris and nearby labia. It is soft and pliable; the other type has a profiled area of quarter inch long soft rubber projections, perhaps 20 or 30 of them.

The effect here is more intense, almost a scrubbing effect. The profiled area may go all around the circumference of the ring to involve both the inner and outer lips, and if necessary to extend back along the perineum and stimulate the anus.

For women who feel maximal stimulation not on the clitoris but in the vagina, a number of different aids are available.

The Penis Ring

Prominent amongst these is the coronal ring. Like most aids this is made of soft rubber and again, the ring fits around the erect penis, not around the base this time but in the groove between the glans and the shaft. From the ring a series of soft fronds radiate. These are slender and compress at the slightest touch. During intercourse they stroke the sensitive vaginal walls.

Special Condoms

But the coronal ring just mentioned may slip off and is easily lost at the top of the vagina. This is not dangerous as the rings are easy to remove. But you might wish to try specially prepared condoms which, instead of the normal very smooth surface, have a variety of stippled or patterned surfaces. Another version has forward facing projections extending from the tip which stimulate the top of the vagina and around the cervix.

The common sexual problem is the difference in time taken for men and women to reach orgasm by means of sensual massage. Women who need very prolonged foreplay are often left frustrated, sometimes because the long period of manual stimulation they need is tiring for their partner, especially if he is, after a while, having difficulty holding back his own orgasm. So why not use a dildo or personal vibrator to initiate excitement and bring it to a level where timing is more evenly matched?

The Dildo

Dildos, or artificial penises, have been known for centuries as masturbatory devices. Dildos come in a wide variety of shapes, lengths and colors. Essentially, however, they are life-like representations of an erect penis. Usually they are hand held and operated, but they can be mounted in a light harness for use by a totally impotent male or in girl-girl sexual relationships.

The Vaginal Strengthener

A slack vagina is often less sensitive and makes intercourse less enjoyable for both man and woman. It is a common result of the natural aging process, as well as some kinds of gynecological surgery and of pregnancy. For such cases a vaginal tone exerciser has been developed: a hollow sphere about 7.25 inches in diameter and attached to a nylon cord is inserted high into the vagina: inside the rubber sphere is a small heavy spherical weight.

At every movement of the body the weight oscillates and imparts sensation to the vagina. This Ben-wa, or vaginal balls, can be worn all the time except maybe during intercourse and menstruation. Not only is the sensation of wearing this highly pleasurable but there is a repeated reflex contraction of the muscle of the vagina and perineum. This exercise strengthens the muscles and improves vaginal grip and the resilience of the pelvic floor.

The Penis Erector

Men cannot hide sexual failure by the simple faking of orgasm (well, not usually). So if a man is going through a spell of impotence, premature ejaculation or just a reduced level of drive because of age, some words of encouragement, together with a whole-hearted attitude of co-operation, may be all the aid necessary. However, there are times when sex toys aids can be additional help. When a man is in his declining years, he may well benefit from wearing a Blakoe energizing ring.

This device, invented by Dr. Blakoe some 40 years ago, is a black ebonite ring, opening to fit around the root of the penis and scrotum together. Inlaid metal plates acting as thermocouples produce tiny but detectable electric currents under the influence of heat generated by the body. These are said to increase the flow of blood to the genitalia, and even to cause a rise in testosterone output.

Even if the main advantage of the aid is a psychological one and the electrical effects are less significant than supposed, there is great actual mechanical support of the penis and a real tactile effect from the ring rubbing on male and female sex organs.

In cases of impotence which comprise by far the largest group of patients seen, the first difficulty is that of achieving an erection at all. The ring may help this and there are various mechanical aids available which assist stimulation. The best aid is probably an erection-maintaining latex sleeve. This is slipped around the penis and located around its base. It is not tight enough to impede arterial input, but restricts venous blood outflow so that engorgement and erection are substantially encouraged.

Where the penis is small, its girth or its length or both can be increased by using a penis extension sheath. This consists of a fairly firm rubber heath, the sides or tip of which are extended to the required dimensions. Similarly, you can get a hollow dildo into which the flaccid penis is inserted. This can be held in position by a light belt to allow assisted penetration. But far more effective is quite another kind of "supporting feature" - the penile splint.

It is in the form of two suitably strengthened areas forming part of the walls of the aid which are able to support the penis from either side. The end near the body acts rather as other aids do, by restricting venous return. The advantage of this particular aid is that, because of its shape and in particular the spaces in the walls, there is a considerable area in which there is intimate contact between the surface of the penis and the vaginal lining. This contact is absent from the hollow dildo-type aid.

Repeated failure is often the crux of the matter in sexual problems. For one reason or another confidence has been lost. Even the smallest success or partial success can be the turning point; the woman who feels herself, perhaps for the first time in years, actually approaching orgasm, or the man whose soft penis actually feels itself enter the vagina again, can then gain more and more confidence and return to normal sexual functioning.

Repeated ejaculation

Men have the capacity to ejaculate much more than they realize: all it takes is a certain amount of practice. A stream of ejaculate emerging from the penis in long streams and several bursts is not only impressive but it actually gives you more pleasure - and, as we have repeatedly observed, if a penis is not for pleasure, what is it for?

Start by masturbating your penis without ejaculating for thirty minutes. This is easy enough to do - you just repeatedly bring yourself to the verge of ejaculation, but as you get there, reduce the pressure and vigor of your strokes on your penis until your level of arousal has dropped sufficiently so that you no longer feel the urge to ejaculate.

Once you have been masturbating in this way without ejaculating for thirty minutes, stroking your penis to the verge of orgasm and then backing off, perhaps several times, speed things up and go all the way and ejaculate as you normally would. However, once you have ejaculated, do not stop masturbating.

Continue stroking your penis in whatever way feels best - this will probably need some good oil based or water based lube. (A blend of massage oils like almond or grape seed oil with a little dash of lavender and peppermint oils is a pleasing lube for extended masturbation, but water based lubes are good too.) And if you are one of the many men who experience extreme sensitivity on their penile glans after they have ejaculated, you'll need a certain amount of perseverance and tolerance to discomfort: however, you will find that if you persist, the uncomfortable sensations actually disappear quite rapidly.

While you do this, strongly contract your sexual muscles (the ones you've been strengthening in the exercises above!) and pay focused attention to what you are feeling in your penis. You'll find that instead of getting soft, your penis will remain quite hard and get progressively harder as you continue. Use harder hand movements if necessary the second time around, and use vigorous stroking movements around the base of your penis and testicles. After about ten minutes of continuing stimulation, you can - if you wish - once again proceed all the way to ejaculation. 

Non-ejaculatory masturbation

A development of the second technique described above is to enjoy orgasm but without any ejaculation taking place. (This technique, like the other two techniques summarized above, is described by Alan P Brauer and Donna J Brauer in their book, ESO: How you and your lover can give each other hours of extended sexual orgasm.)

In case you haven't realized, the point of all this is to increase the amount of orgasmic pleasure you enjoy! It seems that having an orgasm without ejaculating increases the intensity of the orgasmic contractions. The method described by the Braeurs is this:

Masturbate your penis without ejaculating for thirty minutes, then increase the strength and power of your hand movements. As you feel yourself beginning to ejaculate, stop stroking your penis and press into your perineum directly over your prostate gland. Squeeze your PC muscles and all your other sexual muscles as tightly as you can: so tightly, in fact, that you actually stop your semen spurting out of your penis. The Braeurs claim that if you are adept at this, you can retain most of your semen and that doing so will allow you to experience more intense PC muscle contractions. 

After your contractions have ceased, begin to stimulate your penis again. Your erection will be maintained and your arousal will return to a high level. You can repeat the above process of holding back your semen a number of times, until you finally decide to ejaculate. At this point, you need to relax as completely as possible, both in your body in general and your sexual muscles in particular. All of these "non-ejaculatory" orgasms (though you may lose a little semen each time) will be  as strong or stronger than your first. 

Stretching your orgasm

Apparently, after you've practiced all the muscle training described in #1 above for between three and four weeks, you can begin to "stretch" your orgasms.

As you develop greater control and strength in your sexual muscles, you will gradually become able to discern the individual muscular contractions which contribute to your ejaculation. You may also find that the later contractions are the strongest, which is the reverse of the "normal" pattern where the strongest ejaculatory contractions come first.

Begin again with thirty minutes of masturbatory stimulation. And once again, as you approach ejaculation, tighten your muscles to hold your semen inside your body, but this time continue stimulating your penis very slowly throughout your orgasm, "pushing" the sensation on and on, stretching your orgasm for as long as you can.

Using the prostate to your advantage

The prostate gland can add very significantly to a man's sexual pleasure when it's stimulated during sex. Stimulating it at the same time as a man's penis gives him a longer, deeper and more powerful orgasm. One of the reasons for this is that stimulating the prostate causes it to produce more semen, and the volume of semen a man ejaculates has a direct bearing on the intensity of his orgasm and the pleasure he experiences as he ejaculates.

A man's partner can induce high levels of arousal in him by alternately stimulating his penis and his prostate: masturbating his penis (most likely with lube), and then massaging his prostate with a finger inserted through his anus into his rectum (definitely with lube!) If either of you don't like the idea of inserting a finger into the anal canal, an alternative is to press on the man's perineum on a spot directly above his prostate, with the pad of your thumb.

Learn to control the muscles of the scrotum

Some authorities say that a man can't ejaculate unless his testicles are scrunched up close to his body. Now, I don't know if this is true or not - though most men will have observed that their scrotum does indeed contract as they get more aroused and approach ejaculation. I've also heard it said that one way of delaying ejaculation is to grab the testicles and hold them down, so that they can't elevate before ejaculation (and this I know is untrue - I've tried it, or rather, I asked my partner to try it, and it didn't work).

Anyway, this all by way of saying that according to this theory, if you learn to control the degree of contraction and relaxation of your scrotum, you can delay or speed up your progress towards orgasm and ejaculation. 

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Other pages on the penis and sex

Best sex positions
Fellatio - what women think
Better sex and masturbation
Pleasing a woman in bed
How To Satisfy A Woman In Bed
The penis & male pleasure
Sex Positions Videos
Premature ejaculation
Extended orgasm for men (1)
The senses in lovemaking
Arousal and desire
Fetish and fantasy
Sexual behavior
Intercourse with a soft penis
Men's sexual needs
The power of the penis
The nature of masculinity
Male sexual massage
Manifesting Your Reality
Best sex positions

The penis, masculinity and sex

Other sections on the site

Penis facts and penile functions
The penis, masculinity and sex
A Cultural History Of The Penis
Penile & Other Problems 
Ejaculation By Command Reviewed - click here for full information on how to last longer when making love.

Other pages on sexual technique

Advanced sexual techniques
Advanced techniques for women
Men: Sex mistakes to avoid
Men: Mistakes to avoid during sex
The Power Of Ejaculation