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Women: good sex for him (3)

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Men may be a little shy about using sex toys, but they also often get a little bored with sex.

This is one way of spicing up your sex life and avoiding boredom - but it may be something you need to handle with tact, especially if he thinks sex toys are mostly for women.

Vibrators are often a toy with which a man is familiar - in fact, when my girlfriend uses one, I get a little jealous - not because she's enjoying herself, but because I can't see how I can use on one my penis.

Admittedly, men have less need of a vibrator to reach orgasm than women, but there are still some creative ways in which men can enjoy the stimulation of a vibrator.

For one thing, it can be an exciting way of providing a stimulating massage - his nipples, lips, round the mouth, along the toes, up the back, between the buttocks, on the anus, around the testicles - these are all good places where a man will enjoy receiving stimulation.

 As for the penis, there are vibrating penis rings and even condoms that a man can wear during sex to provide stimulation both to himself and to his partner's clitoris - this makes his partner more likely to reach orgasm during intercourse.

(For added please for a man, if a woman puts an egg shaped vibrator in her rectum during intercourse, he will feel the vibrations through the vaginal wall.) Of course, one problem here is that if he has a tendency to ejaculate prematurely, this may well exacerbate it!

The smaller vibrators can be held against his testicles, perineum or anus during intercourse. And that leads on to the tricky subject of anal penetration. So many men think this is a sign of being gay - absolute rubbish, of course, but prejudice runs deep.

Men enjoy anal penetration because it feels good and because it enhances the stimulation they get from the penis - and that's all! Having one's prostate massaged by a loving partner is a wonderful way to enhance orgasm: the same effect can be achieved with the use of a vibrator. Remember, though, that the  rectal lining is more delicate then the vagina - use a soft vibrator.

The prostate is located just inside the rectum, on the wall of the rectum behind the penis. It's easy to feel - and enjoyable to have massaged.

Of course, men like to stick their penises into things, so in a way the most obvious sex toy is a sleeve that resembles the texture and warmth of the vagina.

These substitute vaginas are cheap and readily available, though I've always thought of them as being more for a guy to enhance his masturbation fantasy - not that there's any reason why he shouldn't masturbate with his partner around (plenty of women find this quite arousing).

One option, of course, is for his partner to masturbate him using the sleeve, while he lies back and enjoys the sensations. As always with this kind of sex toy, plenty of lube helps make it much more pleasurable.

If you want to get into the fringes of sex toys and approach the BDSM world, there's always the good old penis pump to play with. On the whole I don't recommend these because of the danger of damaging the penis with attendant development of Peyronie's disease.

Erection rings, or penis rings, as they are better known, provide a thrill by producing a bigger penis - or a harder one. They occlude the veins of the penis and prevent blood leaving, thereby producing at least the illusion of a larger organ.

Another benefit is that they may keep a man erect after he has ejaculated, thereby giving a man with premature ejaculation at least a chance of continuing intercourse for long enough to satisfy his partner - if his glans is not too sensitive to take the stimulation, that is...

The most attractive penis rings are the leather ones, which can provide an additional thrill from the appearance, feel and smell of the leather - there's more than a hint of bondage and submissive/dominance play at work here, which may be very exciting.

More esoteric toys include testicle separators, weights which a guy can hang from his balls to stretch them, and leather harnesses to exaggerate the size and prominence of a man's erection and scrotum.

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