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Wet dreams - you get an erect penis while asleep and ejaculate

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Nocturnal emissions. Wet dreams. Most likely you know what these are, but for the benefit of any younger readers, they are sexual dreams during which you get an erect penis, become aroused and spontaneously ejaculate semen.

Wet dreams don't occur until puberty, and when they do, they can be very embarrassing or worrying to the young man concerned if he doesn't know what's happening to his body. Often a wet dream is the first sign that a boy's sexual machinery has stared to work, after the testosterone-fuelled development of his penis, testicles prostate and seminal vesicles has caused his body to start producing semen.

If a boy has not already started masturbating, the average age of his first ejaculation in the form of a wet dream is just over 13 years. But this does vary, since by definition an average has a high point and a low point. I have counseled some men who had not had any ejaculation, either through masturbation or in a wet dream, by the age of 19. And ejaculation can occur at a very young age in boys who have endocrine disorders, though this is rare. For a normal young man of about 13 years of age, though, his first wet dream in which he ejaculates spontaneously is psychologically parallel to a girl's first period - a rite of passage into manhood, marked by the very adult business of ejaculation.

I suppose these days, because we live in a more sexualized society, that many boys will actually reach orgasm for the first time through masturbation. There's nothing wrong with that, but it seems a shame that boys aren't able to experience the more relaxed pace of sexual development which perhaps was more common in days gone by.

Almost all young men have wet dreams, though some have far more than others. Back in the 1950's, Kinsey reported that some boys had as many as twelve a week. By contrast, others have only a handful in their entire life, so the clear message for any male reading this is "don't worry, you're normal, whether you're having loads of wet dreams or none at all". Advice from a teen website.

When a boy has grown up in a house where sex is taboo or embarrassing, his first wet dream can make him feel very shamed and unsupported. This is a real shame, since they are both natural and uncontrollable. It's much more a cause for celebration, a celebration of his transition to manhood. 

All boys and men have many more erections during sleep than ejaculations. They serve two different purposes: the erection is a way of getting oxygenated blood to the internal cavities of the penis, to make up for a lack of this during the day; the ejaculation is probably a way of relieving the excess levels of continual sperm and semen production, a fact which means you're less likely to have wet dreams if you're masturbating or having sex regularly.

As to the dreams which accompany uncontrolled ejaculation, well, they may seem crazy, but they do signify something about the subconscious's deepest thoughts, conflicts, feelings and desires. A common dream theme is sex with a close family member - perhaps the mother, if a boy has had an over-close relationship, possibly of a sexualized nature, with his mother when he was a child. Other dream sequences can center on one's children, one's children's spouses, figures from one's life, stars of screen and stage, and so on - the list of possibilities is endless, and you shouldn't waste too much time or effort in trying to establish what they mean. Love and sex are very closely intertwined in the human psyche. 

Of course, many dream interpreters would have us believe that symbols are supreme in dreams: tunnels represent vaginas, snakes represent penises, and so on. Well, you'll probably know from the feeling which remains with you when you wake up whether or not your dream had a sexual theme, though what it might signify may be harder to establish. 

One thing that often worries guys is that their dreams contain scenes of sexual activity with other men, even when they regard themselves as completely heterosexual by day. But an occasional sexual dream about men doesn't mean you're gay, just as an occasional dream about having sex with your mother doesn't mean you want to make love her in reality. Rather, such dreams reveal something about the undercurrents of our emotional connections with other people which have some sense of sexuality to them. And for men in particular, affection is often hard to express, especially our affection for other men. If we admire someone and like them, and perhaps especially if we admire their masculinity, a sexual dream can be seen as a subconscious attempt to absorb some of those qualities into oneself.

Masturbation is a great way of training the body to respond more slowly to sexual stimulation, and thereby developing greater control of ejaculation skills. While not a complete remedy for premature ejaculation, there's no doubt that this can significantly help young men to slow down their sexual responses when they begin to make love with a partner and delay their ejaculation during intercourse.

A presentation looked into the question of why is premature ejaculation is so stigmatized, when it is so prevalent. Dr Andrew R. McCullough, of the New York University Medical Center, led a study to investigate. The team analyzed data collected from an on-line survey of 1,158 men over 21 in a stable heterosexual relationship. There were 31 questions concerning overall and sexual health, including questions about ejaculatory control.

Those men who were classified with PE reported low satisfaction with sexual intercourse, loss of interest in having sexual intercourse, difficulty in getting sexually aroused and problems of relaxing during intercourse. These findings demonstrate the negative influence of premature ejaculation on sexual performance, enjoyment of sex and quality of life in general.

Dr McCullough suggests that the reason for stigma associated with PE might be the impact it has on many aspects of a man's life, leaving him with the sense of embarrassment and inadequacy. Dr. McCullough shows that men who lack control over ejaculation tend to be less satisfied with sexual encounters and may suffer from problems with sexual anxiety and arousal.

Dr. McCullough went on to say that both presentations drew much needed attention to the frequency and impact of PE, and highlighted the importance of open dialogue on the subject. These studies demonstrate that male sexual health covers a lot more than erectile dysfunction.

 

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Other pages on the penis and testicles

Penis size
Penis enlarging/ body mod
Circumcision
Foreskin restoration
The effects of circumcision
Arousal and erection
More on erections
Ejaculation and orgasm
The testicles and scrotum
Masturbation
Condoms and contraception
The prostate gland
The penis and peeing
Wet dreams
Ejaculation problems
The life history of a sperm
Pre-ejaculatory fluid precum
Boys and puberty
Night-time erections
Penile pain
Penile questions
Avoiding The Mid Life Crisis

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A Cultural History Of The Penis
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