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Fat or Thin Lovers?Home Page
One of the thing things about having successful sex is that you and your partner both need to have a body which is going to fit beautifully together – and this isn't always the case, certainly not with fat or obese individuals.
So one of the recommendations we can make for enjoying good sex is to ensure that you're fit and healthy – that your bodies are, if not exactly lithe, well then at least not obese or even grossly fat – there's simply no pleasure in making love to somebody whose body is so big that they can't accommodate the different postures which make sex enjoyable. That's especially true if you want to change posture or sex position during lovemaking.
One of the things I know people object to is being told about how they should look or feel or, indeed, how their body needs to be for a particular aspect of a happy sex life: but let's face it, if you aren't looking after your body, that implies some level of disrespect to yourself. This doesn't do credit to you, and certainly doesn't imply that you care about enjoying a good sex life.
There are other reasons for staying slim and healthy as well, of course, which in some ways are more important than enjoying a good sex life – enjoying a long life, feeling healthy, avoiding diabetes or heart disease, and so on!
But we're focusing here on the aspect of this which is all about feeling fit and healthy, wanting to enjoy sex and being able to make love because you are actually physically fit and healthy, and certainly not worn down by obesity and fatness.
The problem is that this is circular! Once you start gaining weight, you feel less healthy, less inclined to take exercise, and therefore less ready and able to make love to your partner, an act which is both necessary and desirable for both physical, emotional and mental connection with him or her.
I've heard it said that men like something to "hold onto" while making love, but I really think this is such a short-term and foolish thing to say. There's no doubt that your sex life improves when your lose weight.
Furthermore, and very interesting, it seems that men who are attracted to slim women are better lovers.
It's not entirely clear what's cause and effect here, but it seems that male partners of women who have smaller waists are better lovers, and more satisfied with the sex that they have.
It'd be easy to suggest that this is
simply because slim women are more attractive, but why would they attract
better lovers? Is it because men who are not such good lovers feel that they have
to settle for second best in the dating stakes?
The Scottish researchers who worked on this found that the slimmer a woman's waist, the more sexually satisfied her partner's likely to be, and the less likely he is to suffer from erectile dysfunction!
I mean really, if there was ever a reason to find a great diet and use it, surely this must be it?
Now, what about men?
You may well ask! It turns out that far from being
attracted to the macho masculine look that we've always assumed,
heterosexual women actually want a slightly plump man.....
Clearly high testosterone levels could have an evolutionary advantage for children. That was why women were thought to select men on this basis.
But in actual fact it turns out that women seem to select men on the basis of fatty tissue, in other words, how much fat they have around the body.
There is a biological logic to this, because weight, particularly fat, is linked both to current health and immune system functioning, both of which are clearly indicators of an evolutionary advantage.
In the study, when men were hired photographed in their underwear, a group of heterosexual women (all of whom were in the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle, just make things more exciting!) basically selected as more attractive the men who had more fat around their faces.
It turns out that this is closely linked to immune system strength, which suggest that women are indeed, at some level, looking for an evolutionary fitness advantage in their mates, but perhaps not the one we'd always suspected!
What this means is that men shouldn't really be dieting too hard, but on the other hand they certainly shouldn't be obese, because that's regarded as distasteful by many women.
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