All About The Penis, Men & Male Sexuality

Penis IFAQs (infrequently asked questions!)

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Almost every website has a page of FAQs, or frequently asked questions, but you never see a page of IAQs or infrequently asked questions. So, in the pioneering tradition of All About The Penis, Men & Male Sexuality, here we go. (Oh, come on, who says there's no room for humor in dealing with penile issues?)

Sarah, on her website, All About My Vagina, asks what a penis feels like when it floats in the bath. Well, the answer is that it doesn't feel any different to the way it normally feels, except perhaps a lot warmer and wetter. Sure, it floats, but the male body isn't attuned to the degree of weightlessness that overtakes a penis when it's suspended in the buoyancy of the bathwater.

And leading on from that, she muses "does it feel heavier when it's erect than when it's hanging around in its owners pants?" (or something like that). The answer - at least as far as I'm concerned - is "No". An erect penis doesn't feel heavy: I mean, if you think about it, it's suspended anyway by a hydraulic system that pumps blood into it. But even if it's standing upright, proud and erect, it doesn't feel like it's dragging down on any internal supporting ligaments.

I can't claim that this is true for guys who have a mighty penis of more than average size, but if anyone so endowed wishes to write in and let me know, I'd be willing to share their comments with everyone else.

Still curious about the more weighty issues of the penis, Sarah also observes that she thinks an erect penis is like her biceps, which she happens to be training at the moment, so they are hard under a soft outer skin. It's obvious that an erect penis is just that - hard under a soft outer skin - but I've never thought of it as having a texture like a trained muscle group. I guess this is in the eye of the beholder. But what I do know is how having an erection makes its owner feel.

This is something like: masculine, manly, male, and proud. When I wake up and walk around the house with a morning erection - not, by the way, something I'm inclined to do if we have overnight guests staying with us - my erection reinforces my sense of masculinity, reinforces my self-image as a potent male, and impresses my partner. (OK, I admit I didn't ask her about that, but she seems to like it.) In short, it feels good to be erect. It feels very male.

Another question, from another source: "Does it feel different to have your penis in someone's mouth, hand and vagina?" Well, yes, it does, which probably accounts for the different popularity of oral sex, vaginal sex and masturbation. First and foremost, a penis wants warmth and wetness, then tightness, and finally movement. Or something like that.

So if you think about it, a mouth comes first (much warmth and wetness with potentially much movement from the tongue); then comes the vagina (warmth and wetness, but less movement, maybe); then the last choice of any hard and fast penis - a hand, offering movement, certainly, but perhaps less warmth and rather less wetness.

Of course, in the absence of a willing other, the owner's hand is always happy to help out. Oh, does it feel? Well, warm and wet and delightful in a mouth, warm and wet and slightly less delightful in a vagina, and delightful in a hand. Does that answer the question? I thought not.

Oral sex is very much a penis-centered experience. The physical pleasure is intense because all the action's focused on the penis, which is having all the things done to it that a penis enjoys most. In addition, the penis's owner can see the incredible spectacle of a woman offering this precious gift to him (never underestimate how important fellatio is for a man, ladies - to him, it's a great gift which means you totally accept him and his most important male part). This is incredibly arousing for men because they are both intensely visual and very penis centered. 

With vaginal intercourse, yes, there is certainly intense physical pleasure in the penis - it feels fantastic, and the tighter the vagina (within reason), the better it feels, but there is a whole lot more body action going on as well: kissing, thrusting, licking, sucking, and so on. This takes the focus away from the penis and onto the whole experience, at least until the moment of ejaculation. I'd say that penetration can be more satisfying when a man's in need of a boost to his sense of maleness, and oral sex is more satisfying when he just wants pure undiluted physical pleasure. But I'm sure there's no hard and fast rule here. 

And masturbation - well, that's nice, a throw-away thing that provides a pleasurable experience but is a fraction as intense as fellatio or penetrative intercourse. Unless, of course, it's done with skill and plenty of lube, or with some added twist such as masturbating by rubbing the penis between your partner's breasts until you ejaculate - that can certainly be pretty good fun. 

Next: How do you know if your penis is too small or too big? Maybe this isn't so much an infrequently asked question as a very common one. But I think the answer is important, so I included it here. It's this: it depends on how much your partner can feel or take when you have sex. If you are a well-endowed western male having intercourse with a small Asian woman, you may well know what too big is. It's the size of your erect penis - painful to both of you.

On the other hand, if you're a man with a small penis in relationship with a woman who's delivered several children via her vagina, then you may think you know what a penis being too small actually means. (By the way, try woman on top, with her lying full length along you and keeping her legs together - it tightens her vagina wonderfully. I guess you could also do that with the man on top too, and his legs outside hers.)

Next: "What do you do with your penis when you're cycling?" Well, mine's not so big that it's a problem, but I too have wondered what guys with long floppy flaccid penises do when they get on a bike. I mean, you can hardly tuck it under your ass and sit on it, can you? I guess they must just place it down the leg of their Lycra cycling shorts. 

And, lastly for the moment: "What do you do when you get an erection in your pants?" If you're a teenage boy, you get very embarrassed. If you're a bit more worldly wise, I guess you let it stand up if it's not so big it'll protrude over your waistband, or you keep it bent double if it is so big that it would stick out. Whatever you do, in my experience, it's uncomfortable. An erect penis wants to wave about in the open air.

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Other pages of penis problems

Penis size
Foreskin restoration
The effects of circumcision
Arousal and erection
More on erections
Ejaculation and orgasm
The testicles and scrotum
Condoms and contraception
The prostate gland
Wet dreams
Ejaculation problems
The life history of a sperm
Penile pain
Penile questions
Avoiding The Mid Life Crisis

Other sections on the site

Penis facts and penile functions
The penis, masculinity and sex
A Cultural History Of The Penis
Penile & Other Problems