All About The Penis

Q: I am 16 years old. When I finally got down to it with a girl last week at a party, I had an erection while we kissed, then  we went into the garden and lay down on the lawn, and my penis was still really erect until she put her hand on it. After that I couldn't get it up, even though she tried oral sex and I masturbated - we even tried to put my penis into her vagina when it was soft, because I thought that might make it hard again. I don't think she's told anyone but I can't face her - we're in the same class, and I'm scared to try again.

A: Sorry that your penis went soft when your girl started to touch you. It sounds like you're very embarrassed, and that's quite understandable. Many guys want to lose their virginity as soon as possible, and there can be great pressure on them to try having sex whenever the opportunity arises. With all the sexual images on the internet, in magazines, newspapers and especially on the TV, not to mention porn, it can be confusing for a young man these days to know deep down inside when he is actually ready to take his first step into the world of sex. But here's the thing - in days gone by, young men would boast about sex without ever having done it, and no-one would call them on it because almost everyone else was lying as well! These days, things seem to be a bit different - everyone seems to be in a race to lose their virginity (though a lot of them are still lying about it!). The problem is, a lot of teenagers try sex before they're ready - and often before they even want to. 

There's an old saying, "The penis never lies" - meaning that when you have the chance to have sex but your penis remains soft, sex there and then may not be right for you. So I wonder if you really liked this girl, or knew her well enough to feel relaxed with her? Could you discuss contraception and what you wanted with her? Did you even know what you wanted? In short, deep down, did you feel that she was the right person for your first sexual experience? 

If she was a lot more knowledgeable than you are, you might have been worried that you wouldn't be good enough, or scared that you wouldn't know what to do when it came down to sex........and if that's the case, and you couldn't discuss it with her, then it sounds as though it wasn't the right time for you - or she wasn't the right girl.