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Peeing

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This is a very convenient thing for a man to do al fresco, requiring not much more than a tree, a wall, a bush or even just a lot of nerve. Generally women seem to be aggrieved that peeing is so much quicker and easier for men, even though female outdoor peeing can be achieved naturally by squatting or even standing-up, should a woman be so inclined. 

Having a penis allows little boys to compete against each other to see how who can pee highest/furthest/most impressively.  Generally, the boys without a foreskin would win this game, unless the uncircumcised boys pulled their foreskin back. I couldn't do that because my foreskin was stuck to my glans, an anatomical variation which later resulted in my foreskin being removed. By then we had grown out of peeing competitions, anyway. I suspect even way back when there was some sort of male competitive thing at work. Who teaches boys this stuff, anyway?

Adult men who have a long foreskin often pull it back because it can interfere with the urine flow and form a splashy stream.  Another reason for a splashy stream is having a urethral opening which is irregular or uneven, or a slit rather than a hole in the end of your penis. Women just think men are born with no ability to aim into the toilet bowl. This may well be true.

Private-bathroom peeing is a painless and non-worrying process, at least for me. However, I suspect some men are embarrassed about the echoing sounds their stream makes as it hits the water, and guide their jet onto the edge of the porcelain. This seems considerate but unnecessary to me. Mind you, I don't know if women like or dislike the sound of a man peeing into water. 

A lot more men have problems with public-bathroom peeing. In Victorian times, public urinals were all-enveloping affairs, behind which men could shield themselves so no-one caught a glimpse of their privates. These urinals were also set at forty-five degrees to each other for greater privacy. Maybe this had something to do with discouraging Victorian men from "loitering" (a synonym for waiting around for gay pick-ups or rent boys).

The modern urinal has evolved from a porcelain wall with dividers between positions, into individual bowls on the wall usually with no dividers or privacy, at least in Britain. I think the Americans have a greater sense of privacy. And I support them in this. I hate the idea of anyone having a quick peek at my willy while I'm peeing, and if anyone is near me, I hold my penis with the hand on the opposite side, and use the free hand as a shield so there's no peeking. Hypocritically, I must admit I do sometimes have a quick sneaky look sideways if I can be inconspicuous about it, just out of interest, you understand. 

Many guys in a crowded restroom will dive straight for the cubicles (aka stalls/traps) to avoid the problem of pee-shyness (aka Paruresis).  This is a problem rooted in a man's head - the one at the top of his body, not his penis - which renders him unable to let go while standing at a urinal. It has only happened to me once, and it was a bizarre experience. To this day I don't know why it happened just the once. I was in a bar restroom, and another guy arrived at the same time as me. I unzipped, extracted my penis, pointed it expectantly - and nothing happened, I simply couldn't pee. And I was dying to go. I stood there, feeling like a spare prick at an orgy, until he zipped up and left. After a while, things got back to normal. 

I have never written my name in the snow, which is supposed to be a male game, though I did play battleships while peeing with my cousins. This game was commercially marketed as a way for dads to teach their sons to hit the water in the toilet rather than the floor. Trying to hit different-sized floating paper targets pretending to be enemy cruisers made peeing seem a more interesting job, but my dad never joined in. I think I would have been embarassed if he had.

I have never peed with other men in a communal way, like at summer camp, lined up side by side, or whatever. This seems more likely to result in other guys seeing my penis than the use of a public restroom does, and I rule it out for that reason. I have, however, peed in many other outdoor situations, most notably off the bow of a yacht, where the first thing they told me when I arrived was that men peed off the bow to save mess. Unless it was pitching and rolling, in which case you went below to the heads and sat down, to avoid mess. You'd think with a penis and a directable flow, men could avoid mess, wouldn't you? This must be one of the mysteries of life. Still, a moment's distraction, or looking at something other than your aim, and you can be all over the place. Concentration is everything for male pee-ers. 

One group of boys or men, those who have severe hypospadias - a congenital abnormality of the penis where the opening is somewhere on the shaft rather than the glans - may find they have no choice but to sit down to pee. This can have a severe effect on a young boy's sense of masculinity. Something I remember was being taken into public toilets by my mother when I was a little boy. I really hated that. I don't think it is a good idea for little boys to be at all confused about their sexual identity, even in the most trivial ways. A relative used to squat his little sons down to pee when they were in the countryside because they had long foreskins which produced a messy stream. I always thought he would have been better off teaching them to pull the skin back. Perhaps the separation of their foreskins and glans hadn't fully developed or something (the glans and foreskin are usually separated from each other by the time a boy is 5, but it can be earlier or later). I guess these issues will seem less clear if the beloved and I ever reproduce.

Urine is a sexual thing for some people: the fetish of peeing on or in the body being called watersports. Urine is sterile when it leaves the body, so the hygiene aspect is less important than the esthetics. I have always thought peeing on someone a bit demeaning, but it is a harmless enough pastime, I suppose, if it turns you on. It just seems a bit messy. I once asked a woman to pee on me while I was in the bath, lying down, as she stood up facing away from me.

I did find the powerful stream of warm liquid coming from her vulva and washing over me mildly thrilling and exciting in a naughty playgroundish kind of way, but it didn't turn me on enough to want to do it again. My only other really sexual encounter with pee was when a past girlf and I were coming back from the pub, and she was wriggling around with urgency with nowhere to go. Eventually she just decided to let it go, standing by the roadside in her jeans, and I must say I was extraordinarily aroused as her pee flowed down her legs and the wetness spread around her crotch - and so was she.

When we got home, we were just desperate to have sex. Which we did, on the hall carpet. It was very intense. I think the excitement for her came from the sheer childhood sexy naughtiness of wetting her knickers. I wouldn't like to think what it was that was turning me on. (If anyone is interested in close-up photos of the spot where the urethral meatus opens into the vulva, and the way urine exits a woman's body, the Yahoo! club attached to The-clitoris.com has some photos.)

I have peed into specimen bottles, usually by just putting my penis into the bottle and letting a bit of urine flow. The difficulty here was then stopping the flow while I removed my penis and pointed it back at the toilet. It used to be quite difficult to stop my flow, the urge to carry on being too strong. But after practicing Kegel exercises to make ejaculation more powerful, guess what? I can stop my flow in mid-stream with impunity now. Those PC muscles have a lot to answer for. All my tests have been fine.

Sometimes, when I am feeling tired or hypochondriacal, I taste a drop of my urine to see if there is any sugar in it. Obviously there shouldn't be, because that means you have diabetes. So far everything has been fine. :-) But that's the only time I taste it. In general I think of it as a waste product, to be disposed of. Which is what it is, containing, as it does, the breakdown products of protein metabolism and other such-like wastes. 

Currently I am on a water drinking campaign, having read a book which tells me that lots of water is the way to maintain good health. I reckon even if this isn't so, it must be a good thing to drink a lot, because it will get the toxins in my body more diluted before I piss them away. This means my piss is mostly colorless right now.

Occasionally it is deep yellow in the morning, usually after a drinking bout the night before. I mean an alcohol-laden drinking bout. Alcohol has an effect on my penis, as well as my pee. It stays resolutely soft. Next morning, though, I often feel very randy indeed, though mostly in no condition to do anything about it.

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Other pages on the penis and testicles

Penis size
Penis enlarging/ body mod
Circumcision
Foreskin restoration
The effects of circumcision
Arousal and erection
More on erections
Ejaculation and orgasm
The testicles and scrotum
Masturbation
Condoms and contraception
The prostate gland
The penis and peeing
Wet dreams
Ejaculation problems
Ejaculation problems 2
The life history of a sperm
Pre-ejaculatory fluid precum
Boys and puberty
Night-time erections
Penile pain
Penile questions
Subincision

Other sections on the site

Penis facts and penile functions
The penis, masculinity and sex
A Cultural History Of The Penis
Images & Erotica
Penile & Other Problems

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