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Most people think that women can have multiple orgasms while men are built so that they are biologically capable of having only one orgasm at a time. And almost everyone seems to think that for men, orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing. Well, I'm here to tell you something radically different: orgasm and ejaculation are completely separate processes and men can have as many orgasms as they want, without ejaculating!
The only reason we think orgasm and ejaculation are the same thing is that they go together for most men, most of the time. And because they are so closely linked in people's minds, most of us assume that a man's highest level of sexual feeling is achieved when he ejaculates semen from his penis. Guess what? This isn't true either. Men can reach a much higher level of erotic satisfaction than the one they achieve when they ejaculate. And they can reach it without any stimulation to their penis whatsoever.
If you're finding this hard enough to believe, then this one will really blow your mind: it's a myth that men need an erection to have an orgasm! One reason why this is true is that the nerves of the penis and testicles have much in common with the nerves of the genital area of a woman - we are, in fact, much more similar than we have ever realized in terms of sexual nerve pathways and arousal systems. In fact, for the first two months of development in the womb, the neurological and genital characteristics of all fetuses, regardless of their gender, are virtually indistinguishable.
Doc-S (who happens to be an M.D.) is one of the posters at the Multiples website live forum where men and women learn to enjoy multiple orgasms without using male ejaculation control methods. Doc-S recently posted:
"All human genitalia develop from the same embryonic tissue. At eight weeks' gestation the physical parts are almost identical, appearing primarily female at this point. There is a large glans at the superior aspect of the tissue. This becomes the clitoris in females (shrinking and becoming surrounded by the labia) and becomes the glans penis in men.
"Below this there is an open vertical urethral fold and urogenital groove, surrounded by a lateral buttress. Below the urethral groove is the anal tubercle. In females these tissues do not change much throughout gestation. The urethral fold and groove widen and flatten slightly to form the inner labia and opening to the vagina. In men these tissues fuse from bottom to top forming the urethra and the shaft of the penis (the buttress). On each side of the urethral folds are round bodies of tissue called labio-scrotal swellings.
"In women these flatten and spread to form the labia majora. In men these buttresses fuse in the midline, and widen, creating the scrotum, maintaining a canal into the peritoneum (the inguinal canal) through which the testes can descend. Even the testes and ovaries arise from identical undifferentiated gonadal tissue. We are made of the same stuff.
"The driving force in transforming these mostly female tissues into male genitalia is the presence of functional testicles which secrete testosterone.
"In the absence of testosterone the fetus will develop female external genitalia. There are, of course, many factors that can lead to a disruption in this process, such as androgen insensitivity, congenital adrenal hyperplasia, androgen maternal tumors, and so on, and these may result in a baby being born with ambiguous genitalia.
"Although the culturally-based stimuli that result in sexual arousal in women and men are often different, the physiological reactions to arousal are similar. There is a relaxation of vascular smooth muscles resulting in an increase in blood flow to the genitalia. This generally results in increased vaginal lubrication and tissue swelling and reddening in females, and often, though not always, may result in erection in males.
"There tends to be an increase in sensitivity to touch associated with increased blood flow. As erotic stimulation is transmitted to the brain via sensory neurons, the autonomic centers of the brain, including the limbic system and the hypothalamus, begin to arouse as well, entering into a peripheral-to-central-to-peripheral nervous system feedback loop."
What this means, in simple language, is that the underlying nerve pathways which produce an orgasm are very similar in men and women. In fact, by the eighth week, most of the central nervous system is already developed in both sexes, but testosterone secretion, which is responsible for the external physical differences such as the penis, only begins at that time. This means the more gender-specific characteristics do not begin to become evident until several weeks later.
And since an orgasm is basically nervous energy, which spreads through the nerve cells of the body, and these nerve pathways are the same in men and women, then the process of orgasm is much the same in men and women. The strange thing is that when you know how to use the nerve pathways and the feedback loop (to which Doc S referred in his text above), you need surprisingly little energy or stimulation to achieve multiple orgasms.
For men, orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes. However, until now, men haven't understood how to separate arousal from ejaculation. Most attempts to develop multiple orgasm strategies have focused on trying to control or "block" the onset of the ejaculation reflex once it begins to happen. (This is the point in sex called the Point Of No Return, where men know they are going to come no matter what happens. Physiologically it represents the point where semen is pumped into the urethra, ready for its journey into the outside world when the spasms of ejaculation begin a moment or two later.) What men need to know to understand the process of separating orgasm and ejaculation is that orgasm is primarily the result of arousal. Ejaculation is primarily the result of stimulation.
So what causes the rush of energy that we experience (male or female alike) as an orgasm - something that can develop into a multiple orgasm? And what causes the ejaculation reflex?
What causes orgasm or multiple orgasm:
And what causes ejaculation:
Here's a list of the features of male orgasm when it is accompanied by ejaculation and when it is not.
Orgasm and ejaculation
Orgasm and no ejaculation
Women who practice these techniques often report unprecedented satisfaction similar to that reported by men. They say that they no longer have to "reach" for their orgasms (where "reaching" often means, for example, using more or less vigorous stimulation of the clitoral area. This usually results in orgasmic release that feels fairly localized in that area, with a notably less sense of deep satisfaction).
But what about the idea that a man needs an erection to achieve orgasm? The truth is, erection and/or ejaculation are simply not necessary to experience and even share with a partner continuous orgasmic waves of bliss, lasting from tens of minutes to hours. This is true for both for both men and women. But sometimes an erection develops during the experience of multiple orgasms.
Both men and women are discovering their innate ability to experience multi-orgasmic states of high arousal, feelings of greater intimacy, and a deeper sense of knowing their erotic self and that of their partner. For example, they report that:
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