All About The Penis, Men & Male Sexuality
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When you ask people which positions are their favorites for intercourse, this is what they say:
I guess there are no surprises there. Rear entry is one which men just find irresistible. The sight of a woman's bottom, parted to reveal her heavenly cleft, with your penis sliding in and out, moist with her juices, is very exciting, and that, plus the deep penetration possible, makes most men come very quickly. Some women say they find the rear entry position makes them feel a bit like a sex object, which in a way I can understand. However, if a man likes rear entry sex, then his woman may want to do it to give him pleasure. It certainly gets men in touch with some very basic lustful instincts - like the instinct to mount, insert the penis, thrust and ejaculate!
Woman on top is a good position for both partners. The woman can control the depth, speed and angle of penetration, which all adds up to much more chance of a whiz bang orgasm for her. And to make that even more certain, she can play with her clitoris as she enjoys his penis inside her. Or, if her man isn't feeling totally idle - he doesn't have a lot to do in this position - he can play with her clitoris or breasts.
As for the wheelbarrow position, all I can say is that it must be an acquired taste. We haven't acquired it yet.
Man on top sex is certainly a very enjoyable experience. And in fact it turns out that it's the one most couples use the most. Why? Well, it's very easy, and I think it gives both partners what they most want in lovemaking. That's the pleasure of kissing, being able to make eye contact and feel our bodies pressing together. In some variations I can see my penis entering her, which I find an enormous turn-on, and I can hold her tightly as I enter her and feel that amazing moment of warmth and wetness, the one that makes her gasp with pleasure, when my penis goes past her juicy labia and pushes open her vagina.
Ah, that moment of pushing my penis slowly and firmly into her yielding flesh. There's no better moment, I think in the whole of lovemaking, except perhaps the moment when you know a woman wants you to come inside her for the first time in a new relationship. But it is a fantastic moment for a man, because it confirms so much about your masculinity. The beloved tells me that she loves the feeling of being under me, feeling as if she can't get away while I enter her. I'd imagine that's quite a common thing for women to feel. And I love it when she wraps her legs around me and draws me into her even more deeply.
The other great thing about man on top sex is that I can thrust deeply (though it can be rewarding to tickle her vulva and the first two inches of her vagina with short strokes and little thrusting movements of my penis). Although of course it's possible to choose to make love last longer, and hold off from orgasm by slowing down the pace of thrusting, men do appreciate a strong, powerful, quick make love from time to time. I think this is one of reasons why having a "quickie" every so often, where he just goes for it (with her agreement, of course), is both very necessary and enjoyable for men. In a way, it's a bit like him giving her what she wants from time to time - whether that be a romantic seductive evening out, or a long, slow, luxurious session of oral sex, or whatever.
The side by side positions for sex are very much about slow, romantic, gentle lovemaking. They allow eye gazing, body contact, and long penetration without ejaculation. It can be a struggle getting into those positions, but if you start in the man on top and roll over (without falling out of her) you should be able to get yourself into a clinch like the one in the picture.
More about sex positions: Sex Positions and Techniques. And here's a view of sexual positions from a female writer and amateur sexologist. Read it if you want to know what your partner thinks about all those moves you want to try out!
The personal experience
I have seen enough vaginas to state with confidence that they don't really vary that much.
I think what is most different between women is the size of the clitoris and labia rather than the size of the vagina. The vaginas into which I have been privileged enough to put my fingers, tongue or penis haven't felt very different, though it seems to be true that having a baby stretches the vagina and makes it bigger. I don't think this matters much, because the vaginal muscles can be toned up to allow them to grip a penis or fingers.
Sex can take several forms - from relaxed and slow, where we work to getting my partner aroused slowly and gently, with kissing, stroking, fondling and caressing, to rather faster, where we're both quickly aroused and excited and want to get my penis into her vagina as quickly as possible. The slow, relaxed form of sex involves a progression from stroking her body to stroking her vulva and vaginal opening, playing all around her opening with warm wet fingers. This works well at getting her aroused, and more often than not we carry on until she has an orgasm, after which I'll penetrate her and thrust till I come - which usually happens as she comes again. Wonderful!
That moment of penetration is one of the best of all moments in life for me, and it always has been, right from the first time I experienced it. That isn't to say it's about dominance (though it might be at some deep level) but more about my sense of being a man in that moment. I'm led to believe she feels the same, but in reverse, if you see what I mean.
My penis does like a moist warm vagina, and they don't come much moister or warmer than when my partner's G-spot has been finger massaged for some time. I find it easier to locate her G-spot using a finger rather than my penis, though for my partner G-spot stimulation is more arousing as part of penetration and thrusting. It sometimes looks as though some really deep sexual instinct is being released when she is sufficiently stimulated on this sensitive little spot inside her vagina: among other things much more vaginal juices are produced, and she responds with hip thrusts and often an intense desire to be penetrated.
Usually, it's after she's already had an orgasm through cunnilingus or masturbation that I enter her with my penis. There was a survey I read somewhere about some amazing percentage of American men coming within two minutes of entering the vagina. Well, male animals are designed to ejaculate quickly - it lessens the chance of some predator attacking when a male's defenses are down. But it ain't so good for the female of the human species. The only consolation for men who are quick comers is that most women are not orgasmic through penile intercourse alone. One alternative is to massage her G-spot with your fingers till she has an orgasm. Another is good old-fashioned clitoral stimulation as well as (or instead of) vaginal thrusting to produce a (presumably clitoral) orgasm.
I do like to combine the intimacy of entering her body with kissing. I find this very sexy. At first, it is easy to maintain penile movements in and out of her vagina at the same time as passionate or sensitive kissing. Sometimes it is sexy and exciting to thrust my tongue in and out of her mouth in time with my penis. At other times she prefers to just have a gentle caress around the inside of her lips with the very tip of my tongue.
The feeling of warmth and enclosure around my penis once it is in her is great in itself, but it is the exquisite, silky, sometimes almost unbearably delightful feelings produced as my penis moves into her that can make me gasp and moan and make my whole body shudder. I assume these feelings are due to the pressure of the walls of her vagina on the coronal rim of my penis, which is full of nerve endings. When we are in a position where the underside of the head of my penis rubs along the wall of her vagina, the feelings are at their most intense.
As my orgasm approaches, the tension builds up in all the muscles of my body, until there is that earth-shattering (well, hopefully) moment of glorious release and the intense pleasure of ejaculation. I usually shut my eyes when I come. I think no matter how close the early stages of lovemaking bring two people, at the moment of orgasm they are concentrating more on their own pleasure. One day someone will explain to me why almost everyone screws up their face at the moment of their climax. If you think you don't, get a video camera and film yourself. But make sure you erase the tape afterwards.
All of this is followed by the relaxing, warm afterglow. I always think it's a good idea for a man to help a woman to orgasm before he has his, since orgasms seems to render men incapable of doing much for a while. Except sleeping.
On the subject of coming too quickly, age and experience tend to slow a man down and reduce his tendency to premature ejaculation. If this is a problem for you, some people say that the side-by-side position for lovemaking is a good one for the man to last longer.
Other pages on the penis and sex
All about not being able to ejaculate - when you have trouble ejaculating during sex, this is essential reading.