All About The Penis

Orgasm and ejaculation - what is semen?

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It's what it's all about, really, isn't it? Those few intense moments that seem like heaven on earth as the most important fluid on earth shoots - or dribbles - out.

I used to dribble. And it was an embarrassment, I must admit. I always thought it would be much more manly to shoot a great load a foot or so. But somehow the idea that this is changeable never occurred to me.....until I read somewhere that strengthening the muscles around the base of the penis can increase the strength of ejaculation and the intensity of orgasm. And, you know what? It really works. 

The pubococcygeus muscle surrounds the penis, prostate and anus. Tone up your pubococcygeus muscle - perhaps more than anything else, this is the key to powerful, pleasurable, forceful orgasms and ejaculation. Men who have always just dribbled at the moment of orgasm find they shoot semen out in a way they never have before.....and the orgasm will actually feel better. You can tone up the muscle by imitating the Kegel exercises which are prescribed for women with weak bladder control (it is in fact the same muscle in men and women, and the women who practice the exercise also experience more powerful orgasms).

These exercises can be done anywhere, anytime, although they are more pleasurable when you have an erection, since they increase the volume of blood in the penis and the pressure on the sensitive areas of the head of the penis. You learn how to contract the muscle by stopping the flow of urine in mid-stream: this will show you what it feels like when the muscle is contracted by voluntary effort. Having learnt what to do, you can then go on to do it anywhere, anyplace, anytime - sitting at your desk, driving the car, wherever. The truth is that you can't overdo it - the muscle will tire, like any out-of-condition muscle made to work in a way it isn't used to.

After a while you will, not surprisingly, find that you can hold the contraction for longer, do more of them, and that they are more powerful. This is a great technique for improving the quality of your orgasm, and I recommend it to you. Some of the respondents to the Men's Health survey even claimed that stronger pc muscles allowed them to retain an erection after ejaculating, and continue thrusting (although many men find their penis to be so sensitive after ejaculation that they cannot bear to have it touched, and obviously this would preclude continued intercourse).

I found it easiest to do the contractions while my penis was erect or semi erect: "twitching" your penis shows you've got the right muscle (something the loved one likes me to do when it is inside her, so it helps there too.) After I knew what it felt like, it was easy to contract the muscle anytime, anyplace, anywhere, and it (or they) soon strengthened up. Actually, I have a sense of three different parts of the muscle, part one around the base of my penis, another further back, and the last bit around my anus. I can contract each of these muscles or parts of muscles independently now. While this might not be a recommended part of the process, it amuses me. And my ejaculations are longer and stronger - sometimes a foot, especially if I haven't come (cum?) for a few days. 

For me ejaculation and orgasm is pretty much the same thing. I have heard of techniques which separate the two - I think basically the guy clamps his PC muscle so tight that semen can't flow out, then he has an orgasm with no ejaculation. Presumably if he can get stimulated again, he can do the same thing a number of times before finally ejaculating or coming (also spelt cumming).

I think this is how it works, anyway. Apparently it is the ejaculation, not the orgasm, that stops a man being arousable and erectable again straight away, so if he knows how to stop himself ejaculating, he can go on thrusting away till his partner is satisfied. This isn't part of my lovemaking process. I always was just a simple chap.

My feeling of orgasm is hard to describe. I read a book once which stated that when men and women were given statements by both sexes about what it felt like to have an orgasm, leaving out references to ejaculation, neither sex could identify who said what. This suggests that the muscular contractions that are 90% of an orgasm feel just as good in men and women.

Anyhow, in the initial stages of sex, or masturbation, the sensation of my penis sliding in and out of a vagina, or of the friction of my hand on it, just feels pleasant (oh dear....that sounds a bit like describing sex as "nice", which hardly does it justice), though of course the physical pleasure is backed up by a deep excitement at the thought of the thrilling sexiness and naughtiness, even, of the intimate things we're doing to each other. Maybe I'm still a bit of a prude at heart. 

As the experience continues, it becomes a much more intense sensation, whose focus somehow seems to shift from penis to brain. There is certainly an element of feedback in the neurological circuits, because at some point during lovemaking, thrusting becomes a deeply instinctual thing, and the increasing speed of the in-and-out movement that leads to my climax is not something I ever had to think about....it just happened naturally, right from the first time.

The pleasure builds up and up and transforms into a powerful need for release, and a compulsion to reach orgasm, come what may. At the point of no return, in the split second before ejaculation happens, a man could see his mother, priest and ex-girlfriends enter the room, and he wouldn't be able to stop himself coming, though I guess it might take the edge off the experience a bit.

The powerful contractions that expel semen go along with other more-or-less instinctive muscular contractions - especially wrapping my arms around my love and holding her tight, and thrusting hard at the moment of climax to get deeper into her.

In fact, when I stop to think about it, I would say that a large part of the reward of making love is the deeply pleasurable muscular contractions that lead to premature ejaculation and its treatment, and another large part is the intensely pleasurable feeling of satisfaction, relaxation and release in my mind. This, as we all know, is caused by the release of endorphins and oxytocin (the hormone responsible for making men roll over and go to sleep. Well, some men. I would never do that.) And of course, on the way down from this high, there are all the feelings of love and connections and desire for cuddles and contact that reinforce the pair bond. 

I am sorry to say that although it may feel like the earth has moved for a man, his partner may not feel much inside her when he comes. The vagina is most sensitive in the lower parts, and on the g spot. But I'm led to believe that women enjoy having a man come inside them because it is such a major symbol of togetherness, intimacy and love. And anyway, sex is fun, even if you're not in love. Now, is that a sexist remark or not? 

It is definitely a good thing to ejaculate in a vagina. In fact it is about the nicest thing I can do for my penis. I mean, it is a lot nicer feeling than masturbating, pleasant though that can be. It's so damn sexy, for one thing, and the feel of warmth and tightness and intimacy adds to the pleasure. Also it's such a masculine thing. The beloved says it is in her opinion as intimate as two people can get.....and that it has a special value for a woman. I guess that's obvious. There is always the problem of the wet spot when the semen leaks out of her afterwards: I don't like sleeping in a cold damp place, and it soon gets cold, because it only stays warm for as long as we are cuddling (usually on top of it). A condom is helpful in this regard.   I would advise men who have difficulty controlling their ejaculation to not try to use two condoms - this is not an ejaculation control method that works! - but instead to adopt one of the variety of treatments outlined here.

Some people like semen, and some don't. Personally, I am ambivalent about it. It can have a strong odor, which isn't always of the best (women shouldn't try giving head after a guy has eaten asparagus or curry, for example). Those who like the taste can indulge in oral sex without inhibition. Those who don't may want to spit if they're doing it, or try eating different stuff before sex to see what has least effect on the flavor, if they're receiving it.

When I was younger, my semen often seemed to be a clear fluid with whitish globules and streaks in it. I think the white bits were the spermy parts, the rest the nutritious fluid they swim in. As I got older, the whole thing became much more homogenously creamy white. One good thing to do with it is to rub it in the skin, at least if it isn't being used for making babies.

The volume goes up and down, depending mostly on how long it is since I last ejaculated. If it ever gets to a week or so, there is almost a dessertspoonful. But usually it's a teaspoonful or two. The longer the period of abstention, the more fluid, and the more I feel the orgasm, too. Funnily enough, after a while out of the body, the consistency becomes much more fluid, and the appearance much clearer. I don't know why.

As I got older, I found that I liked to make a lot of noise when ejaculating. Actually, somehow it seems involuntary. The more intense the orgasm, the louder the noise. It's also fun to let out noise when having an orgasm through masturbation. Maybe this is something you learn as you get older. It's a bit difficult making a lot of noise when you're a teenager masturbating off in the bedroom next to your parents. Unless they are making a lot of noise too, I guess.

I don't know whether women like a few grunts or a symphony chorus from their man at the moment of orgasm, but I find it very sexy when a woman cries out uncontrollably at the moment of her climax, especially if she has worked her way up to it through a chorus of inarticulate moans and shrieks. Actually, I'm getting a hard-on just thinking about this. 

You can find out more about semen here, and some suggestions about the biological purpose of the female orgasm here (it's about sucking semen up into the uterus.)

Flowback is the expulsion of semen from the vagina between ten and forty minutes after sex, though it sometimes happens almost immediately and sometimes hardly at all. It is a normal process, though many a woman must have wondered what purpose such a dramatic expulsion of semen serves. According to Robin Baker, flowback is a mixture of semen, cervical mucus, cells from the wall of the vagina and sperm. Cervical mucus actually blocks the opening to the uterus, and it's a vital part of a woman's defense against infection.

Clearly there's a balance to be struck between allowing sperm in and keeping bacteria out. As Robin Baker observes, a woman's body produces different types of cervical mucus during different phases of her reproductive cycle. The properties of this mucus are such that it will allow only the right amount of sperm up into her uterus at any one time - the amount that will give her the maximum chance of conceiving. This semen can only move up into her uterus for a few minutes after intercourse: a few minutes during which the cervix dips into the pool of semen deposited by the man's ejaculation on the floor of the vagina. After this short period of access, the cervix lifts up and loses contact with the seminal pool.

The semen still left in the vagina is now surplus to requirements, and a series of muscular ripples gently moves it, together with the dead cells and old cervical mucus, down to the entry to the vagina. On average this happens about half an hour after intercourse. Once the fluid has collected here, it is ready to be expelled. Before this, a woman can walk around, stand up and even urinate, but she will not eject the flowback. But once the flowback has collected in the entrance to the vagina, it is ready to be expelled, and at some point it will be forcibly ejected by the muscular contractions of standing, sitting, coughing, walking, or urinating. Even if she's asleep, it will seep out and dribble down between her buttocks to form the famous "wet spot". Read more about this process and why flowback happens in Robin Bakers' excellent book Sperm Wars: buy it here. 

This is a very good list of questions and answers about male and female orgasms by a guy who seems to know what he's talking about. For men with ejaculation problems, in particular if you are experiencing symptoms of delayed ejaculation, you might want to get help.

 

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Other pages on the penis and testicles

Penis size
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Circumcision
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The effects of circumcision
Arousal and erection
More on erections
Ejaculation and orgasm
The testicles and scrotum
Masturbation
Condoms and contraception
The prostate gland
The penis and peeing
Wet dreams
Ejaculation problems
Ejaculation problems 2
The life history of a sperm
Pre-ejaculatory fluid precum
Boys and puberty
Night-time erections
Penile pain
Penile questions

Best sex positions

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